I think if I had to pick what God was teaching me the most this semester – through surrendering to Him and His will – I would say that it’s learning and believing that His love NEVER fails.
His love doesn’t fail when I do. His love doesn’t fail when I don’t believe in it. His love doesn’t fail when I want it to. His love doesn’t fail when I don’t trust in Him. His love NEVER fails. My sinful human heart just can’t wrap my head around this concept.
I’ve never been more in love with Jesus than I have been this semester. I’ve never cared about His people around the world and His heart more than I have this semester. I’ve also never had to trust Him in the way that I’ve had to trust Him this semester. It has been like jumping off a cliff and hoping that there’s water at the bottom to land on. But there has been water there…every. single. time.
Exactly one month ago the Lord asked me to give up something that was very important in my life. This thing had been my life for the past 3 years. It defined me at Texas A&M. Giving this thing up was not just something I would do for no reason and Jesus knew that. Because He knows me better than I know myself, He reminded me of HIS plans for me and not my plans and He reminded that He LOVES me and KNOWS better.
After many tears on my own and many tearful conversations, I closed the door on that chapter of my life, not having any idea of what was to come. I legitimately have no idea how I will spend my last year at Texas A&M, I am relying on my Savior to 100% provide in that area. I’ll be honest when I say that this is new for me. I’ve never been in such an uncomfortable place that I’ve had to rely on Him in this much, which is why it makes so much sense that I’m here now.
I leave for Kenya in 22 days. Wow. I don’t have all my money yet but I’m not freaking out. I’m not worried and I’m not stressed out. I’ve been taught too many times that if He takes care of the entire universe, why in the world would He not take care of me?
Did anyone else need this reminder today? That no matter what happens, His LOVE for you will never fail you? To believe that Jesus will fail you is to believe that He doesn’t love you. Don’t let yourself believe that. Trust me when I say that He will just come back and slap you in the face with a big bowl of love and prove you wrong.
Sacrificing to yourself and surrendering to God’s will can be scary but it’s good to be in a place where everything will fail if Jesus doesn’t come through. Why? Because it means you can’t rely on yourself and you have to rely on Jesus. His love will never fail.