I am clumsy. I mean, I trip everyday. Nothing too dramatic though, just a little slip up and I keep on going my merry way.
Yesterday, this was not the case. I was walking into Tom Thumb and I completely misjudge the height of the curb and bust it. I land on my hands and knees, but I fall so quickly that I skid across the concrete. Imagine an elephant on an ice rink. I end up with my stomach on the ground in complete shock of what I’ve just done.
Just when I think that MAYBE no poor soul saw me, I hear the gentlest, “Are you okay?” from behind me. A sweet elderly couple is right behind me and the husband chimes in with “I hate it when that happens.” Casually reminding me that other people face plant in public, too. I giggle it off and rush into the store. I acted as if nothing was wrong and hurried in.
But guys. My hands were on FIRE. I mean they were burning. And then I feel this weird sensation in my right knee…only to see that it is BLEEDING. And by some weird turn of events, I have bruised my left thigh as well. I got straight BEAT UP by that ground. There was no pretending that I was okay. I didn’t shed a tear but I walked around with my hands in some weird position for about 5 minutes before I realized that people could probably see me.
Eventually the pain subsided but today, I look like I took a nasty fall of my bike, I’m pretending that I bike…not that I am a magnet for accidents.
I had a long drive after the concrete face plant incident and it seemed to parallel to my life so vividly so I thought I’d write about it.
You guys, it’s comical how quickly I was to say that I was okay. I wanted my mistake to be as small as possible and I wanted the least amount of people to know about it. And there was NO WAY that I was going to admit that I was hurt. I mean how embarrassing would that be, right? I was the one who fell, it was my fault for not paying attention, why would I want to also say that I was hurt?
How often does this happen in our own lives? What is your first instinct when you make a mistake? More often than not, I do not want accountability. I do not want people to know that I have fallen down…yet again. Heck, I don’t even want God to know that I have screwed up and He knows everything. So many times, I truly feel like I am constantly falling down and running away from what God has for me. It’s like He’s got to pick me up over and over and over again because I just can’t seem to stand on my own two feet.
When I really mess up and when I really feel low is when I want to lie the most. I don’t want to be reminded of my pain because that means I will have to deal with it, which I just know will hurt more. I just know that if I open up that scab or put alcohol on that scratch, that I will only burn more.
What I so often forget, is that after the initial shock of pain, comes immense healing. You have to let the scab heal over, you have to put alcohol to clear out the dirt.
You have to fall down so you can be reminded how to get up again.
I want you to imagine your life without any seasons of heartache or times where you screwed up. Your life would be pretty close to perfect, right? I mean what need would there be to trust Jesus?
Falling down or “backsliding” or whatever you want to call it just plain sucks sometimes. It sucks to feel ashamed, it sucks to feel guilty, and it sucks to feel alone. But I heard a really great quote once, “If were all alone, then we’re all together in that too.” What truth that statement holds. About 2000 years before that was said, Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.” Letting us all know that we are never alone. Of COURSE our Savior is with us and beside and loving us but sometimes it just feels like you are all alone in this, am I right?
It’s so easy in those moments to forget about everyone else in the world and just think about how much you suck. It’s so easy to forget that before Paul changed lives and spoke truth to thousands, he murdered Christians and mocked Christianity. It’s so easy to forget that after Peter walked on the water, he denied Christ three times. It’s easy to forget that even in our sin, Christ died for us.
He knew this would happen and He died so that we could keep getting back up.
He never meant for us to get back up alone. Well technically He never meant for us to fall period, but we can talk to Eve about that later. But seriously, He knew this would happen and while He doesn’t want for you to feel pain or you to feel sin, He knew it would happen and in those moments, He wants to hold you.
Jesus wants to remind you that it’s okay to not be okay.
I can admit my failures because I know that Christ died for them. I can show Him my bruises because I know that Christ heals them.
So stand up today. Lift up your chin because your Savior is not holding your failures against you. He does not you to stay on the ground, LET Him lift you up and redeem that aching heart of yours. He loves you, He cherishes you, and He sustains you.
Falling down will never hurt less but you will heal much quicker if you let the ultimate Healer treat your bruises.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Redeemed and Renewed,