I want to believe that I’m okay. In a house full of corners and nooks, I want to believe that my hiding spot will keep me the safest. Because isn’t that the person that always wins hide & seek? The person who lives there. They know the best places to hide and you will never find them.
They have to leave their hiding spot for you to find them and they usually won’t reveal where there top secret space is.
My heart is often like my top hiding spot. If I keep it dark and secret, not only will anyone find out my sin but no one will be able to see it either.
Revealing my sin is similar to when someone opens up the windows in the morning. The sun bursts into your room at no warning and you feel blinded. I want the windows immediately shut, it burns too bad, it hurts too much knowing how dark my sin is and how bright the light is.
Seeing the light reminds me that truth exists and staying in my room, with the windows shut is the only way to avoid it. I don’t want my sin revealed. I don’t want the pain of dealing with my tattered heart.
When you’re waist deep in sin, the pain of the truth stings so much more than the pleasure of the flesh, so why would you want healing?
Because the freedom of redemption soothes that aching of heart of yours more than any sin ever could.
How do we get here? How do move from our deep, dark hole of sin to the freedom that is the light?
You have to open the window. Rip off the band aid. Whatever. You have to drop that chip called pride of your shoulder and just tell somebody. Somebody who knows you, loves you, and will fight this war with you.
The first step to getting healing from your sin is getting over your pride.
I have about 4-5 people that I have accountability with. Because ya’ll, when I struggle, I struggle. I need accountability and I need it bad. So maybe you just need one person, I need an army. I am more comfortable in that dark corner than I should be so sometimes I need a search & rescue crew to come get me out of there.
In shining light on your sin through accountability, you have to choose to believe the truth that the light brings. You have to go to scripture. You have to choose that Jesus is better.
For me, my deepest sins come from the roots of insecurity and comfort idols. There are many places in my life that I go to for comfort instead of Jesus. Learning these (harsh) realities of my sin drove me to my Savior. It made me realize how deeply I depended on other things instead of my Savior and I instantly wanted something different for my life.
I am annoyingly insecure. I want so badly the affirmation of others that I will go to them instead of finding my worth in the Man who created the universe. I so often forget that the Savior calls me radiant and that I am enough for Him so I find someone else who will give me counterfeit versions of these words.
Scripture is the tool that Jesus uses to shovel out the rubble from my rocky soil of a heart. You have to seek out His word because He is the only way to freedom. Believing that you are worth more than your sin is the only way to find your way out of it.
I had to get to the root of my sin to understand why it was happening.
Alcohol/Lust/Drugs/Anger/Spending too much money/WHATEVER is not your root. There is something deep that makes you believe that you need those things and that they will satisfy you more than your Savior. You have to find where that sin grew from and rip that root out of the ground.
Finding my root is usually the one of the most painful parts for me. I hated seeing that I was insecure. I desperately wanted to believe that I was worth more. Seeing my sin in plain sight made me realize how deeply I didn’t believe the promises my father has for me.
If you know anything about plants, you know that the longer that something grows, the deeper the root gets. So with me, I struggle with sin, I believe that it’s true, I struggle again, therefore I am reinforced that my line of thinking is true. In that, the root grows deeper and the cycle starts over again.
This is why we must run to Jesus. Only He has the Holy Spirit power that can change our broken hearts.
We so often let our darkest place become our safest because it’s familiar. It’s just not worth it. The light stings and burns on our open wounds but it brings such tremendous truth to our lives.
The truth that we are more than conquerors, the truth that we can overcome because he has already overcome, and the truth that we are worth more.
Run to Jesus with your sin and get yourself some accountability. Jesus doesn’t have this for you. He has infinitely more than you can imagine. He is enough for you. Believe it.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37
Ripping up the root,