I am not a tree.

treeI am feely.

I am emotional.

I cry. A lot.

If you take me to see a movie where someone dies, I WILL ALWAYS CRY. I cannot separate fiction from reality. If someone is suffering, I automatically insert myself into the situation and cry my eyes out.

My feelings are up and down. I “go with my gut” more than other people.

I decide a lot of things on my feelings and that’s fine with me.

Many times I’ve heard well “feelings aren’t facts” and “emotions aren’t truth” – which is technically true.

The analytical part of me would tell you that for a fact to be a fact, it would have to hold true for EVERYONE and my feelings, of course, do not hold true for everyone.

But they are facts to me. They are real to me. 

But sometimes my feelings get me in trouble. I have a bleeding heart. For the broken, for the marginalized, for the mistreated. I can’t always explain why I feel the way I do and sometimes that makes people mad.

The cool thing about being emotional is that you don’t have to have a reason for it, you just know you are and that’s fine. A lot of people don’t like that.

A lot of people need hard evidence and say things like “you AREN’T ALLOWED to feel that way.”

I just tell those people to suck it.

Kidding.

Anyways. So my feelings get me in trouble and it can be really frustrating because I can’t make other people feel the same way that I do. I can’t make them understand the way my heart is feeling and that that feeling can’t be just turned off.

So I was talking this over with my friend, Heather. I call her my best friend but she also falls under therapist, personal Ghandi/Mother Theresa, wisdom giver, etc.

We were talking about how emotional we are and how it was annoying. And she goes “sometimes I wish Jesus would have just made a me a tree, then I wouldn’t have all of these dang feelings all the time.”

And to that I said, “SERIOUSLY, DUDE!”

And then she goes, “BUT JESUS DIDN’T MAKE US TREES! He made us with emotions. He wasn’t choosing between making us trees or making us people. He knew from the beginning who we were going to be and He made us. He chose to make us full of emotions and full of feelings and that’s awesome. I am not a tree and that’s awesome.”

I am not a tree, ya’ll.

Jesus could have made a tree, or a rock, or a dolphin (wishful thinking), but He didn’t. He knew exactly what He was doing when He formed me in my mama’s tummy.

Sometimes our emotions get the best of us and that can be tough but my emotions and feelings are not bad.

They are not these things to be angry with. Or to hate.

I’ve been learning just how uniquely Jesus formed me lately. And it’s been interesting. I’ve felt ALONE through a lot of it but after talking with Heather, I feel so much better. 

I feel full of truth and hope and of course LOVE. I feel that my heart is not wrong, that regardless of what people think of me, my Savior is my KING. He is the captor of my heart and the lover of my soul. He knows me, deeply and intimately because He created me.

So I’m gonna go cry in a corner because Jesus is so good.

And he didn’t make me (or you) a tree and that’s pretty awesome.

Love,

Crissy

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