My roommate and I were talking the other day. Talking about the way that the people we like have so much control over our worth.
I was going through the guys that I’ve liked and I realized I would think the same about every single one. I would say “THIS guy has everything I want in a guy.”
Like THIS guy has to be it. If he doesn’t like me, no one else will come my way that is like him ever again.
Clearly that’s not true. There are 7 billion people in the world, odds are a few of them are going to be similar.
Anyways we were talking about that period of time when you’re trying to figure out if a guy likes you or not. Crushes…you know how they go.
They have two outcomes. One of which will send you into a debilitating spiral of depression and ben & jerry’s ice cream.
Because a guy you like doesn’t like you back.
It’s pretty silly when you step away from it.
Why does that make us so crazy? Wanting to know if another human finds us suitable for a relationship?
One word: validation.
Everyday we are searching for validation. And in most cases we are in control of that.
We can make our boss happy by working hard, we can make our body pump instructor (that we love to hate) happy by lifting a higher weight, and we can make our friends happy by being a good friend.
But we cannot control whether or not someone will have romantic feelings for us.
AND WE NEED THEM TO HAVE ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR US BECAUSE THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LEFT, OKAY?
We need someone else to tell us that we are enough.
Because we don’t believe that we are.
We don’t believe that we’re worth it.
We see ourselves as empty unless someone else tells us to be whole.
It’s a pretty vicious cycle. Finding our meaning through what other people think about us. When in reality, we weren’t even trying to be ourselves but we were trying to please those people.
We wanted to be pretty because they said so, we wanted to be fit because they said so, we wanted to be funny because they said so.
So we are actually trying to make other people love a person we’ve made up, they’re not even seeing who we really are – so then what does their validation mean?
If someone likes you for someone you’ve made up, you have become an author and this person is a character.
They don’t actually love you at all.
Being real, being vulnerable, and being honest, is freaking scary.
WHAT IF PEOPLE DON’T LIKE ME?
Tell them to suck it.
There are 7 billion people in the world. If one or even one thousand of them don’t like you, there are literally 6,999,999,000 people left to be friends with.
The only person who can define you is YOU. You are the only standard on which to base your worth.
You are the only person who is going to be with yourself for every moment of your entire life. So you might as well start coming to terms with who you are.
You are awesome by the way. You’re beautiful. You’re funny. You have a cute butt. You rock.
Stop seeking out validation through friends, bosses, or people you like. Because none of their opinions can actually define who you are, even if you try your hardest to make that happen…it never will.
A romantic interest is always fun but if your crush doesn’t like you, that’s okay. You’ll be fine.
It’s much more important that you like yourself, focus on that. You’re worth getting to know. And all parts of you are okay. You are really great.
Okay that’s my random rant for the day.
Peace out homies,