I’m trying to process the fact that it’s been a year since I was last in Kenya.
That this time last year, I had just come back from leading a team of 16 people.
But when I leave on Friday, I will be alone.
I am so excited, almost giddy nervous about what’s going to happen. I know that this year is going to be different because every single trip is.
God’s love is most evident in my life when I’m in Kenya. I know you shouldn’t say things like that and that I should be my best self even when I’m in America but that’s just not always true for me. That’s why I named the organization “One Love His Love” – because while I was there in 2014 by myself, I knew that’s what we were supposed to call it. That love is what drives us all, love is the cause of heartbreak and hope in the world and I wanted our organization to be one full of all the hope we could muster.
I like to hope that I represent God’s love well at home too but in Kenya…there is just something different.
I feel so at home there. I feel right when I’m there. And I’m past the honeymoon stage, I have been to Kenya 6 times & I lived there for 2 months. I know there are bad things and frustrating things and scary things in Kenya. But through it all, I seem to find myself most when I’m there. I serve better, I love better, and I learn so much more.
I’m crying writing this because this year has been so much. Some good and some bad but really just so much. I’ve learned so much about myself, about religion, and life. Maybe it was a quarter life crisis, maybe it was just a phase, maybe this, maybe that.
Whatever it was, I’m glad that it happened. This year taught me so much about myself and about other people. I learned how to love better because of the way that people loved me.
Kenya is not only going to be a working trip for me but also a resting one. I need to learn to rest and listen again. Listen to stories of addiction, of hope, and of love. I want to listen and learn and grow. All the time.
Unfortunately in America, I’m sometimes too busy to do that. Or maybe too prideful. I’m not sure.
I want to be the kind of person that invites people to tell their story. I want to always create a space for people to be free. I want to love so well that no one ever feels like their story or their heart is too much.
My hope for this trip is that I learn to love people better and that I continue to do that even when I’m home. My prayer is that my bleeding heart keeps bleeding. I don’t ever want to be bitter. I don’t ever want to run out of love. I know that may make me seem weak or something but I don’t care. I’d much rather be known for the way that I love people than anything else.
People who think differently from me, people who believe differently from me, and people who disagree with me. Gonna love ’em all till they can’t stand it anymore.
So that’s it. That’s my prayer. Love. And lots of it. I hope you’ll pray with me and for me on this trip. I think it’s gonna be a good.