My last blog post I wrote about having rose colored glasses.
No matter how many times I get hurt, I can’t stop wanting more or believing more out of people. I just keep thinking that I’m going to get something different.
You guys, I just want people to be good. I want the best for them and I want to be the person who shows them that.
Heartbreakingly, this isn’t always true. People will be who they are even if it isn’t the best that they should be and it sucks.
It sucks more when you are on the receiving end of this, when your heart is constantly being broken by people who don’t deserve it. But I think we can find a happy medium here. I think there is a way to look at the world as wonderful while also protecting that beautiful soul that lives in side you.
My sister told me once “can’t you just stop expecting these things out of people and let them prove their worth to you?” and I said, very defeated, “I just don’t know how.” I have no poker face, I show all my cards on the table, right away.
And there is beauty in kindness. There is worth and value in being someone who cares so genuinely about the people in his or her life. This is true for you and for me. We are not naive or stupid for loving with our heart on our sleeve. It’s okay to believe that people are genuinely good but there is also power in being a little choosy with our love.
It’s like this. You have fine china, right? Okay well I don’t. But my mom does. She has the prettiest china in the entire world. She’s kept it preserved for years and years. And for special occasions, she lets us use it. Something so beautiful shouldn’t be kept up in a china hutch forever. Beautiful things shouldn’t be hidden away, they should be enjoyed.
But imagine if my mom let us use the china when we were kids, we wouldn’t have seen the value in it and we probably would have broken it. My mom wanted to share her special treasures with us, and because she saw the value in them, she waited until we were old enough to see the value in them too before we could use them.
This is what we must do with ourselves. It’s okay to have beautiful things to share with the world and it’s okay to understand that they might get broken. What we must do with our souls that are full of love and life, is understand the value of them. We must see our worth and our truth. Once we do that, we will share those deepest and most beautiful parts of ourselves with only those who deserve them.
For me, it’s hard to not believe that every person has my best intentions in mind. I’m an optimistic, a hopeless romantic, and a lover. I truly believe in the goodness of people. And that’s okay. But every day I’m learning to only give my most beautiful and truest self to those who can see the value in me too.